Stop Defending your Fears

I saw this title STOP DEFENDING YOUR FEARS in an article Happiness in your life -Newsletter  and I just love this topic, so a couple of thoughts also by me about this.

I relate this to a thing called a backdoor. We create backdoors consciously and many times even unconsciously, and stick to them (I think I have written about these earlier as well). What does this mean?

Backdoor is something you use not to fully commit to what you desire. Backdoor is a good excuse not to act on your soul's best interest. Backdoor is always based on some kind of fear. Fear of failure:  what if I cannot make it? Fear of embarrassment: who am I to dream THAT because I already have this? Fear of being cocky: this is what people are satisfied with, so who am I to ask for my extreme happiness? Fear of being selfish: this is good enough, I settle with this. Fear of acting agains society's "standards" i.e. not fitting into crowd: I cannot divorce because my kids will suffer. Fear of non-success: I cannot quit my job because I lose my level of living standards. Fear of facing own and other's feelings: I keep side affairs so that I can stay married because I "have to". Fear of being honestly you: white lies are ok so that I do not have to hurt other people. Fear of putting boundaries: It is good always to be kind not to hurt other people. The backdoors are endless. The fears can be quite dominating in running your life script.

When I started my business I realized that my biggest fear was not to succeed in what I love the most. I mean how hurtful could that be if you put and commit yourself 100% to something and then you fail? (This goes for relationships in my life, too). It would have been comforting to my mind taking a side job or not to start at all, based on my fear, as then I did not have to put myself at stake. BUT. The big but. What would have I missed if I did not do everything I can and imagine and dream (still in the process btw). It was then I realized that whatever happens, I do my 110% now, and if I do not make it, then fine. Then I make a graceful exit but at least there are no "what if's" no "holding backs". The backdoors are such that afterwards you think "Damn. What if I did that differently, what if I had the courage. What if I just had listened to myself, really".

I wish you courage to kick your fears, close at least some of your backdoors and go enjoy fully the beautiful spring!! And your whole life for that matter. 

About trust and and balance and human soul

I have recently been encountering "stuff" that has made me confront myself in terms of faith; about the future, about how to live our life, about how to be in this world.

I was sitting in a meeting, where a finnish writer was talking about her world view in general (she is a bit older lady already), and I could not avoid hearing the pessimism or maybe put it a bit more clear, mistrust, for the future survival of humanity. It made me wonder. Also recently met people have made me ponder about trust in life in general.

There is currently a huge imbalance on earth. We have destroyed so much in the name of progress and productivity,  and we mostly have forgot humanity and life itself. Efficiency is what prevails currently in many societies and structures of the economics, the way things are set up. How far does it serve a human soul?

On the other hand so many people have acknowledged that something is missing, something is totally off-balance, something is terribly wrong. I do believe our future generations are viewing this situation from a very different angle than ours and a couple of older ones. We have emphasized rational thinking in the name of progress in creating current world structures,  and this may not work any more. We have associated rationality with intelligence.  Rationality is not that fond of emotions, well-being, courage, warmth, empathy, love, harmony, universe, peace, nature. Rationality works well with outer environment (to a certain point) but what about our inner environment? There are 8 other intelligence definitions than rationality.  Maybe it is time to take into use other forms of thinking to counterbalance this where we are now.  Solution can be closer than we think, just if we change the perception. Shift altogether. Put our priorities in a new order and change the angle. It is possible.

Call me naive or whatever, but I choose to live in a world where I see beauty. I close tv when war news and accident news are on, politicians talk nonsense or violence dominates. I choose to act in communities which strengthen the feeling of accountability, shared responsibility and faith for the future. Power based on loving individuality driven collectively, intuition and collective soul will take over at some point. The question is only when. As Alberto Villoldo says: Let us dream our world into being. We can do it, together. What you believe in and set your intention to, will manifest. Sooner or later.

See how you can see something not that expected here:
Sometimes security cameras show something totally different

What is your intention?

Täydellisyyden tavoittelusta - about being perfect

See english version below

Mitä se on, täydellisyys? Mihin se liittyy? Asioiden loppuunsaattamiseen, kauneuteen, erehtymättömyyteen, oikein valitsemiseen, tietämiseen, harkintakykyyn, velvollisuuksien täyttämiseen, työn tekemiseen, pärjäämiseen, osaamiseen, parhaimpana olemiseen, kunnon ihmisenä olemiseen, mihin?

Minun on aina jotenkin täytynyt olla täydellinen. Osata kokeissa ainakin ysin edestä, pitää koti niin siistinä että "joku " joka tulee yllättäen ei saa sydänkohtausta, suorittaa tutkintoja, olla superhyvä äiti, huomioida muut, ajatella toisten puolesta, kantaa vastuu, selvittää asiat, tehdä hyödyllisiä asioita, ymmärtää muita; ihan mitä vain. Minulle täydellisyys on liittynyt usein suorittamiseen. Eikä siinä ole mitään pahaa että haluaa tehdä asiat hyvin. Ongelmalliseksi se muodostuu silloin, kun ei mielestään tee jotain täydellisesti, ja ajattelee siitä seurauksena, että ei ole riittävän hyvä. Siis ihmisenä, omana itsenä. Se on se iso korjaamisen paikka ajatus-tunne -ketjussa.

Voiko vain olemalla olla täydellinen? Siinäpä hyvä kysymys. Nykypäivänä ajattelen että voi. Suomalla itselleen pieniä epätäydellisyyksiä alkaa löytämään sitä pientä tervettä itserakkauden poikasta, joka on niin tuiki tarpeellinen meille itse kullekin. Kun ei vaadi ihmeitä itseltä. Kun ei vaadi mitään itseltä. Kuka meitä rakastaa ellemme me itse? 

Harjoittelin epätäydellisyyden tunnetta kun en kirjoittanut syyskuun Newsletteriä lainkaan (anteeksipyyntö siitä). Kuinka usein se onkaan tullut mieleen, ja suhteellisen pieni asia ! Hui! Olenko huono ihminen (suoraan identiteetin tasolla!) - teinhän sentään 10 ilmaista NUTtipsiä, ken sitä tajusi tilata. Egon tarvitsee puolustaa tilannetta. Mitäpä jos vain sanoisin että ei nyt huvittanut. Tai runosuoni ei kukkinut. Tai ei ollut asiaa. Mutta onpas se vaikeaa itselle. Ajatus että vaikka en tehnyt mitä olen hiljaisesti luvannut, olen silti täydellinen.

Harjoittelen täysillä tätä ah niin vapauttavaa epätäydellisyyttä ! :-) Harjoittele sinäkin ! 

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What does it mean, being perfect? What does it relate to? Finishing businesses and things, beauty, being right, choosing right, knowing enough, thinking capability, fulfilling tasks, working, coping, being able to, being the best, being a proper human being, or what?

I have always carried this stigma of being at least almost perfect. Be a good student in exams, keep the house clean so that anybody can pop in at any point of time, do my degrees, be an excellent mom, think about others, think FOR others, carry the responsibility, clear things out, do useful things in general, understand others, you name it. To me being perfect has often related to accomplishing things. And there is nothing wrong in wanting to do things well. The situation becomes somewhat problematic when one thinks that if you do not do your job perfectly, you think that you are not good enough. As a human being, as you. There is the catch in the chain of thinking-feeling. And that can be changed.

Can one be perfect just by being? What a good question. Nowadays I am convinced that one can. That you can. By allowing yourself small imperfectnesses along the way, you start finding that little ray of self-love that is so important for your self. When you don't expect miracles from yourself. When you don't expect ANYTHING from yourself. Who will love you if not you yourself?

I practised this feeling of being imperfect as I totally skipped September Newsletter (apologies for that). It has come quite a many times in my mind, such a small thing!! Am I a bad person (going directly to my identity !) - at least I compensated that by sending 10 free Nuttips if someone realized to order those... Ego wants to defend the situation. What if I just said to myself that I was not in the mood. Or that I did not have anything to say last month. How difficult ! A thought that I am perfect, regardless.

I am practising fully this being imperfect. It is truly liberating! I encourage you to do the same! :-)

Try it out

Picture from Be Part of the Shift FB page

It is about surrendering. 

It is about letting go. 

It is about losing control and accepting that. 

It is about becoming extremely humble and accepting that whatever is there, is there for the reason. 

It is about having enough courage to say what you want and need and deserve. 

It is about putting boundaries.

It is about finding your passion.

It is about finding compassion towards everything.

It is about trust. 

It is about faith. 

It is about courageous dreaming. 

It is about being active.

It is about actively dreaming your desired world into being.

It is about acceptance. 

It is about closeness. 

It is about intimacy. 

It is about friendship.

It is about love.

What is? 

Your Authentic Life. 

Your Purpose.

Your Meaning.

Let it come to you. 

Now.

Masks and chameleons

I have been wondering, what is exactly the point of time when one gets so bored with him- or herself that there is no other way than ripping off all masks. Also, could there be beneficial masks, too, I mean that could it be that a person would be better off if the mask would never be stripped?
The process is hell-of-a-scary anyway.

Anyhow I think the only way to learn something about self is to go really deep in one's self on soul level, and  no masks fit in there. Strip all, good and bad. Who am I without any perception, without any learned or accepted model to act, without a hint of any gain to be achieved in a situation where I am used to acting in a certain way to gain something, without any role I have been carrying my whole life?

We wear masks due to various even unknown reasons I suppose. We are too afraid of being here as we deeply are, vulnerable, hurtful, heart open, in the moment, filled with love, sensitivity and hope for good. Masks make us strong, fitting, acceptable, admirable, worth pursuing, by most of the society's norms anyway.  Masks make us unbeatable. Mask is ran by ego. Ego is not very constructive, to say the minimum.

What if everybody was allowed to be broken, not perfect, not beautiful, not fit, not having it all.
What if it was OK just be perfect you, just by being entire you?

I started thinking about chameleons as well. Chameleon is kind of a master in wearing a mask. It can adapt and change to any environment and circumstance by fitting in. How truthful is that when a person does that?
Why do we sell our soul so cheap? What is the price of not being true you?

You tell me.

Deepak Chopra has said: There comes a time when we are not happy until we know who we are.

And until we know that, how can we attract any person or any thing real in our lives?

Law of Attraction

I have been a firm advocate talking about the law of attraction in peoples' lives. I firmly want to believe that once you open up your heart and let it flow while having your intention clear and pure, things start flowing towards you. You just need to be open to grasp them at that point. Sometimes you don't even have to grasp as they step on your toes.

I have been asking from Universe a clear sign that this is happening in my life, too. As a person whose brain is taught to be overvalued, I am a bit blind when it comes to my own stuff. (As if there was no proof enough for myself thinking my life a bit over 2 years back and now :-) :-)). But anyway.

So, this has somehow been actively in my mind recently, and I have been pondering about it a lot.

I need to tell you about yesterday.

In the morning I figured that my tiny fantastic dog had pooped on my white carpet downstairs (and with stomach problem). I already earlier had thought that my carpets would need a bit refreshing, meaning that I should go and find some new ones. I have been living without or with old ones from my summer house for a year now, because of the dog. I was thinking how to get motivated enough to go to a carpet store (not my biggest motivation source, and I have not bought them yet in the internet, which I do a lot for other stuff) and how to finance it as carpets are not that cheap. Dragging the formerly white carpet out after trying to wash it, the doorbell rang. And voilá, there was a carpet seller, believe it or not. He was cmoning from a fair, had some carpets left, and was travelling to Switzerland. He said he needs to pay taxes of the unsold carpets he was carrying so he did not want to take any back and wanted just to get rid of them with a reasonable price. So I made a great deal, bought two carpets I just needed and was happy. Easy !

Then another secular thing from yesterday, I had been actively wondering that I would really need to practise tennis with male company as well in order to improve. In the evening I just out of the blue had a question from a friend's brother whether I would need a training buddy. YES I NEED ONE, thank you!!  So that was clear and set.

These are very practical examples of the mind's power in the universe. Conincidence? Hmmmmm. I have read that coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. I can believe that.

Also yesterday I thought how blessed I am with my about to start active new career, all incredible people I have attracted to my life somehow, all incredible circles I am honoured to be part of, you name it. This was also something I have been actively dreaming into being for a longer time and suddenly I have it. How "weird" is that? <3

And my other big "secret" dreams? ;-)   I will let you know what happens next :-).

About love

Privileged, and blessed, are those, who may experience and give unconditional love. I think it is the most lacking ingredient in life of people nowadays. We try to fill the void with everything imaginable: food, sports, stuff, money, crazy hours at work, alcohol, parties... you name it. And behind everything, if you dare to look at it, is the craving of being held, being nourished, being loved just as you are. Bare you. Without accomplishments, without titles, without anything special, except special you.

It is difficult as we are so conditioned from the childhood (or earlier) that we are good and accepted only on certain conditions: if you get good grades at school; if you are a good girl; if you behave; if you sacrifice, if you are nice; if you don't stand out; if you do as all others do; if you just... the list is endless. It is difficult to learn to receive love as you may never really had it from outside or learned to love yourself inside . And difficult to give love as you never experienced it.

How to connect to the source within? This is where it all begins. Once you realize you can love yourself fully and unconditionally, the rest follows. Loving yourself and appreciating yourself as you are is the best gift you can give yourself. Love will attract love.

Search your soul. Find your love. As in the end, it is the only thing that matters.