Towards new 2015

It has been quiet from my side recently. The end of last year took all my energy to keep everything together, never have I felt the world so black as it physically and metaphorically for a little while was. It is only now afterwards I understand that. So sorry for silence. Lots and lots of good things happened also. From mental pain emerges all kinds of great stuff. You are forced to, once again, dig and find the good stuff that is there (as there always is) and I figured I actually could not have it better. It was fear based darkness I was struggling with. Fear of not making it businesswise, fear of losing a really good friend, fear of not knowing what to do with life as everything seemed messy and pointless, many things I tried did not work out and insecureness kicked in. On the other hand I felt all possible circles closing in a very positive way, and that made me cry many times. Letting go is not easy but when that happens, it is absolutely relieving. There is room for a lot of new beauty now. It is not easy to walk the path you have chosen. It takes all the courage to go on, when the outside world pressure (which is actually only inside, programmed in you) kicks in. It takes every bit of will power to say no to the non-working programming and go along your own path. I have been so lucky. I am surrounded by angels, good beautiful people, mostly even new in my life, who probably unknowingly carried me through the darkness. Love, joy, closeness, hope, one friendly word, sharing, is all it takes sometimes. It changes everything even though nothing as you can see physically changes. Thank you all for being there when I just needed a tiny friendly word, a bit of encouragement, a thank you, a small praise, a warm hug. It is amazing how a small thing can change everything. It is almost scary. It has everything to do about the perspective. As I write this, the horizon from my window is dark orange and totally bright, really amazingly strong colours, sun is rising. I feel the same happening in my life. This year will be something new and unimaginable now. So many exciting things are emerging right now. Cannot wait to write about them when they realize. So pls look for the small good things in life, trust on your fellow traveler and lean on other people and share, if you have it rough. You are not alone, that's for sure. I wish you a beautiful and meaningful New Year 2015. Big hug, Erja