11.5.2014

Stop Defending your Fears


I saw this title STOP DEFENDING YOUR FEARS in an article Happiness in your life -Newsletter  and I just love this topic, so a couple of thoughts also by me about this.

I relate this to a thing called a backdoor. We create backdoors consciously and many times even unconsciously, and stick to them (I think I have written about these earlier as well). What does this mean?

Backdoor is something you use not to fully commit to what you desire. Backdoor is a good excuse not to act on your soul's best interest. Backdoor is always based on some kind of fear. Fear of failure:  what if I cannot make it? Fear of embarrassment: who am I to dream THAT because I already have this? Fear of being cocky: this is what people are satisfied with, so who am I to ask for my extreme happiness? Fear of being selfish: this is good enough, I settle with this. Fear of acting agains society's "standards" i.e. not fitting into crowd: I cannot divorce because my kids will suffer. Fear of non-success: I cannot quit my job because I lose my level of living standards. Fear of facing own and other's feelings: I keep side affairs so that I can stay married because I "have to". Fear of being honestly you: white lies are ok so that I do not have to hurt other people. Fear of putting boundaries: It is good always to be kind not to hurt other people. The backdoors are endless. The fears can be quite dominating in running your life script.

When I started my business I realized that my biggest fear was not to succeed in what I love the most. I mean how hurtful could that be if you put and commit yourself 100% to something and then you fail? (This goes for relationships in my life, too). It would have been comforting to my mind taking a side job or not to start at all, based on my fear, as then I did not have to put myself at stake. BUT. The big but. What would have I missed if I did not do everything I can and imagine and dream (still in the process btw). It was then I realized that whatever happens, I do my 110% now, and if I do not make it, then fine. Then I make a graceful exit but at least there are no "what if's" no "holding backs". The backdoors are such that afterwards you think "Damn. What if I did that differently, what if I had the courage. What if I just had listened to myself, really".

I wish you courage to kick your fears, close at least some of your backdoors and go enjoy fully the beautiful spring!! And your whole life for that matter.